Thirty-four weeks. Today. YAY! And another milestone....if our little girl were to be born this week, her chance of survival is basically the same as a full term infant. She may require a short NICU stay, but should be developmentally normal (baring any other complications of course).
BUT...let's hope that doesn't happen! I'd like her to stay in for another three weeks at least!
My OB appointment on Friday went well. I'm measuring appropriately, the NST was looking good, urine was good and blood pressure is still good. That last point is a relief because, with Alex, my blood pressure began going wonky around 33 weeks. So here's to hoping for no Pre-E this time!!!
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Well Hello....
Ok. I've been a sucky blogger. I know it. What has it been? A month? Longer? Ah well....
So I am now 33 weeks pregnant! Who knows how many more weeks left, as Alex was delivered at 37 1/2 weeks. I do know that my doctor won't let me go past 40. There will be no overdue'ness here :)
I haven't updated in so long, so what have I missed? Ummmm....I passed the gestational diabetes screen (yay!) but am anemic. Big shock. I could have told them that since I'm ready to fall asleep by 730 every night. Since taking the supplemental iron pills I've felt quite a bit better. Still dealing with nausea though, along with no appetite!
Baby girl is getting big! Being short-5'4"-she pretty much takes up my whole torso now. Like Alex, her legs are measuring a week ahead of everything else, and her belly a week behind. Yeah, so this kid definitely doesn't take after me! She's an active one too-moving throughout the day pretty continuously. Hopefully she keeps it up, it makes me feel good when I can feel her all the time. At my ultrasound on Wednesday, they estimated her weight to be at 4lbs, 3oz! We're getting close!!!
My little Alex is doing awesome! She's getting very excited to meet her little sister and calls her "my baby" (awwwwwww). Of course, she also wants to name her "Rainbow". Yeah. I tell her that the baby's name is "Hayden" and she says "Rainbow Hayden". So I'm like "whatever honey...call her what you want". Meh-I'll pick my battles :) Every night, Alex comes to me and kisses my belly and yells (literally) "Night baby sister"!!! Geez-I hope she still likes her when Hayden actually comes out!!!
As far as preparations...lets just say we've been kind of sucking. This baby totally does not have a nursery yet, or a crib, or a dresser, lol. The room that will be Hayden's is our guest room. And Dan's sister and husband and their baby came over for two weeks and that's where they stayed. So no converting it to a nursery. Then, when Hayden is born, his parents are coming over for 2 1/2 weeks and need to stay there. So basically, the child probably won't have a nursery for awhile! I guess it doesn't really matter, as she'll be in our room for awhile anyway. But still, that nesting instinct is driving me nuts about it....I'm also aggravated that we haven't come up with a middle name yet. We're deciding between Olivia, Caroline, Charlotte and sometimes I throw Madeline into the mix. Depending on the day, I've settled on each of those names at least twice....
So yeah, this kid is getting a little jipped, lol. No nursery (Alex's was ready by 28 weeks), no middle name (Alex had her whole name figured out before we knew she was a girl), having to wear hand-me-downs (they are super cute though!). Ahhhhh well....we'll get there! I'm sure she will reap some benefits of being the younger one too....
Here's some pics....this one is of Dan's sister, her husband and their 18 month old. Aussies seeing snow for the first time!!!!
So I am now 33 weeks pregnant! Who knows how many more weeks left, as Alex was delivered at 37 1/2 weeks. I do know that my doctor won't let me go past 40. There will be no overdue'ness here :)
I haven't updated in so long, so what have I missed? Ummmm....I passed the gestational diabetes screen (yay!) but am anemic. Big shock. I could have told them that since I'm ready to fall asleep by 730 every night. Since taking the supplemental iron pills I've felt quite a bit better. Still dealing with nausea though, along with no appetite!
Baby girl is getting big! Being short-5'4"-she pretty much takes up my whole torso now. Like Alex, her legs are measuring a week ahead of everything else, and her belly a week behind. Yeah, so this kid definitely doesn't take after me! She's an active one too-moving throughout the day pretty continuously. Hopefully she keeps it up, it makes me feel good when I can feel her all the time. At my ultrasound on Wednesday, they estimated her weight to be at 4lbs, 3oz! We're getting close!!!
My little Alex is doing awesome! She's getting very excited to meet her little sister and calls her "my baby" (awwwwwww). Of course, she also wants to name her "Rainbow". Yeah. I tell her that the baby's name is "Hayden" and she says "Rainbow Hayden". So I'm like "whatever honey...call her what you want". Meh-I'll pick my battles :) Every night, Alex comes to me and kisses my belly and yells (literally) "Night baby sister"!!! Geez-I hope she still likes her when Hayden actually comes out!!!
As far as preparations...lets just say we've been kind of sucking. This baby totally does not have a nursery yet, or a crib, or a dresser, lol. The room that will be Hayden's is our guest room. And Dan's sister and husband and their baby came over for two weeks and that's where they stayed. So no converting it to a nursery. Then, when Hayden is born, his parents are coming over for 2 1/2 weeks and need to stay there. So basically, the child probably won't have a nursery for awhile! I guess it doesn't really matter, as she'll be in our room for awhile anyway. But still, that nesting instinct is driving me nuts about it....I'm also aggravated that we haven't come up with a middle name yet. We're deciding between Olivia, Caroline, Charlotte and sometimes I throw Madeline into the mix. Depending on the day, I've settled on each of those names at least twice....
So yeah, this kid is getting a little jipped, lol. No nursery (Alex's was ready by 28 weeks), no middle name (Alex had her whole name figured out before we knew she was a girl), having to wear hand-me-downs (they are super cute though!). Ahhhhh well....we'll get there! I'm sure she will reap some benefits of being the younger one too....
Here's some pics....this one is of Dan's sister, her husband and their 18 month old. Aussies seeing snow for the first time!!!!
My beautiful little monkey. I think she's gorgeous, but I may be biased ;)
My current favorite pic
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Hellllllloooooo Third Trimester!
Glad you're here. It took awhile! Twenty-eight weeks to be exact :) I don't really have much to report, other than that I am stoked about being in my last trimester. I go for my GD screening on Friday :/ I hope I pass, I did last time around, but every pregnancy is different. We'll also get to see our little girl on Friday again too. Haven't seen her since 20 weeks, so I'm excited/slightly nervous. I'm going to try to push for a 3D ultrasound this time. I didn't get one with Alex because I had an anterior placenta and the picture quality would have sucked. So I realllllllyyy hope this time around I will get one. After all, there's a very high possibility that this will be my last pregnancy....
In other news, Dan's sister, her husband and their 18 month old are coming tomorrow for two weeks. They have never seen snow. They are excited. We'll see how long that lasts!
In other news, Dan's sister, her husband and their 18 month old are coming tomorrow for two weeks. They have never seen snow. They are excited. We'll see how long that lasts!
Friday, January 25, 2013
Infertility...a Lasting Legacy
Infertility really changes things, changes the whole game. I think, when you've struggled for so long, it's hard to escape the residual worry and apprehension.
I'll admit it. I'm scared. I was scared at the beginning of this pregnancy because things were pretty touchy for awhile. Then I kind of mellowed out. Now, at two days shy of 26 weeks...I'm scared again. More scared than I was in the beginning.
I had an OB appointment today, a regular follow up. Everything looked good. Heartbeat was good, fundus was measuring appropriately, urine sample was good, blood pressure was good, weight gain has been good. Why doesn't this stop the worry? This baby has become such a person to me now. I am already envisioning her personality, based on her movements, etc. I think she's going to be the really feisty one. I feel her all the time. I know her general sleep and wake schedules. I love her already. Maybe not in the way that I love the child I have here, right now...the child I have been a parent to for three years. But I love this child. And that makes me so scared of things going wrong. It's terrifying because now, there's just so much to lose.
I just bought a beautiful bedding set today from Baby Supermall. It was very exciting, I love love love it. I had intended on being practical and using Alex's old set. But man, I could NOT resist. There's just too many cute baby items out there and, plus, this kid will have her share of hand-me-downs. She deserves her own bedding, right??!! But then I began getting really nervous. What if I'm jinxing myself? What if something happens? Then what am I going to do with all this new stuff? What if I'm being presumptuous and that makes something bad happen???? It's like all my old infertility issues and superstitions came flooding back. I felt that same old uncertainty and, while my circumstances have changed drastically, some of those feelings have stayed. And I think they might always.
They say that infertility takes the innocence away from getting pregnant. That it causes you to worry, because you know how easily things can go wrong. And you've already worked so very hard for a chance at motherhood. Sometimes it's a curse knowing as much as an infertile knows. In the beginning, you mark time by every "normal" ultrasound. Then you begin marking time by milestones (anatomy scan, viability, 28 weeks where the lungs are more mature, 30 weeks, etc....). It stinks to just wish a pregnancy over. But I do. I want to hold this baby girl safely in my arms. Where I can touch her, where I can see her breathing.
And hearing horror stories does not help. Thanks mom. She called me up a few weeks ago to tell me that a close high school friend (we've since lost touch), went in for a routine appointment at 26 or 28 weeks and the baby had no heartbeat. She was induced that night. I. Can't. Imagine. I mean, I know that horrible stuff happens. But to hear about it happening to someone who was once a close friend.....just horrid.
So I'm going to have to find a way to cope with this fear. I know it won't go away. I guess it's part of motherhood. And it's part of motherhood after being infertile. It's part of who I am. All I can do is pray. Pray for this little one to be born safely. Pray that we are a family of four soon, and that we remain that way for 70+ more years.....
The bedding set that I chose, that made me all nervous....
http://www.babysupermall.com/main/products/coc/coc7133-843.html
I'll admit it. I'm scared. I was scared at the beginning of this pregnancy because things were pretty touchy for awhile. Then I kind of mellowed out. Now, at two days shy of 26 weeks...I'm scared again. More scared than I was in the beginning.
I had an OB appointment today, a regular follow up. Everything looked good. Heartbeat was good, fundus was measuring appropriately, urine sample was good, blood pressure was good, weight gain has been good. Why doesn't this stop the worry? This baby has become such a person to me now. I am already envisioning her personality, based on her movements, etc. I think she's going to be the really feisty one. I feel her all the time. I know her general sleep and wake schedules. I love her already. Maybe not in the way that I love the child I have here, right now...the child I have been a parent to for three years. But I love this child. And that makes me so scared of things going wrong. It's terrifying because now, there's just so much to lose.
I just bought a beautiful bedding set today from Baby Supermall. It was very exciting, I love love love it. I had intended on being practical and using Alex's old set. But man, I could NOT resist. There's just too many cute baby items out there and, plus, this kid will have her share of hand-me-downs. She deserves her own bedding, right??!! But then I began getting really nervous. What if I'm jinxing myself? What if something happens? Then what am I going to do with all this new stuff? What if I'm being presumptuous and that makes something bad happen???? It's like all my old infertility issues and superstitions came flooding back. I felt that same old uncertainty and, while my circumstances have changed drastically, some of those feelings have stayed. And I think they might always.
They say that infertility takes the innocence away from getting pregnant. That it causes you to worry, because you know how easily things can go wrong. And you've already worked so very hard for a chance at motherhood. Sometimes it's a curse knowing as much as an infertile knows. In the beginning, you mark time by every "normal" ultrasound. Then you begin marking time by milestones (anatomy scan, viability, 28 weeks where the lungs are more mature, 30 weeks, etc....). It stinks to just wish a pregnancy over. But I do. I want to hold this baby girl safely in my arms. Where I can touch her, where I can see her breathing.
And hearing horror stories does not help. Thanks mom. She called me up a few weeks ago to tell me that a close high school friend (we've since lost touch), went in for a routine appointment at 26 or 28 weeks and the baby had no heartbeat. She was induced that night. I. Can't. Imagine. I mean, I know that horrible stuff happens. But to hear about it happening to someone who was once a close friend.....just horrid.
So I'm going to have to find a way to cope with this fear. I know it won't go away. I guess it's part of motherhood. And it's part of motherhood after being infertile. It's part of who I am. All I can do is pray. Pray for this little one to be born safely. Pray that we are a family of four soon, and that we remain that way for 70+ more years.....
The bedding set that I chose, that made me all nervous....
http://www.babysupermall.com/main/products/coc/coc7133-843.html
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Tomorrow. The Big 2-4
Tomorrow marks a pretty important milestone (probably mostly in my mind). I will be 24 weeks tomorrow. Doesn't really sound like a super important date, does it? Not like 30 weeks or 20 weeks....the major ones. But 24 weeks is pretty darn important.
We are at the edge of viability this week. Meaning, if this baby (God forbid. Please don't let it happen!) was born at 24 weeks, she would have about a 50% chance of surviving. Now, no one in their right mind would be happy to have a 24 weeker. The chances of something going wrong are still **tremendous**. Not to mention, if the baby did survive-there's a huge possibility of disabilities. But still. Twenty Four weeks is considered viability. That means that everyday my baby girl is safely in my womb, her chances of survival go up each day by 3-4%. At something like 28 weeks, survival is up to 90%. She's getting stronger and healthier. I think that's pretty damn amazing.
Now, having said all this....I'm sending up a prayer to God for our little girl to stay safely in me until at least 37 weeks <3 p="p">
In other news. My friend T just found out she's having a healthy baby girl! T is only 13 1/2 weeks pregnant and, at 43 years old with no husband or significant other, went to my clinic to try to get pregnant with donor sperm and her own eggs. She was on the verge of giving up after 3 or 4 IVF cycles. She had never seen a positive test, never had any frozen left over. Well-she got pregnant! She has since graduated back to the OB (she's using mine) and they gave her a new blood test (Maternity 21 I believe it is called) which can detect all the trisonomies (sp). Anyway-the baby came back with a clean bill of health and they were able to determine that she's a she! T is over and above the moon! I'm so happy for her. She's had it rough in the past with taking in a foster baby at 6 weeks, only to lose him to his drug addled parents at one year (yeah, because that's how our system works). She will be a wonderful mother. And she lives about 5 minutes from my house. So there will hopefully be a lot of play dates in our future.
Our little girl is moving up a storm. I love feeling it. I think I feel more this time around because my placenta is not anterior. We are about 80% set on the name Hayden. Now we just need to decide on a middle name. I like Hayden Olivia, because I think it flows nicely. Dan isn't so sure. Some of our other options are Hayden Caroline, Hayden Daniella and Hayden Adria (Adria for Dan's grandfather who passed the day before we found out we were pregnant. His name was Adrianus. But we are not going there, lol). Any thoughts on the middle name?
We probably won't think about doing anything with the nursery until the end of February. Dan's sister, husband and their little boy will be coming to visit from Australia for two weeks in February. So they will need to use the guest room/baby's room-to-be. Not to mention, we might need to temporarily move Alex to the guest bedroom too, as we are having some water leakage issues in the closet of her room...which means a new sub flooring and replacing the carpet. Ugh. So yeah. This baby might not have a room until she is six months old! I'm trying to not let it bug me. It's not important in the scheme of things. But I just like having things set.
Anyway...I continue to pray that this baby will be born safely and be healthy and normal. I never truly relax until the baby is in my arms.
We are at the edge of viability this week. Meaning, if this baby (God forbid. Please don't let it happen!) was born at 24 weeks, she would have about a 50% chance of surviving. Now, no one in their right mind would be happy to have a 24 weeker. The chances of something going wrong are still **tremendous**. Not to mention, if the baby did survive-there's a huge possibility of disabilities. But still. Twenty Four weeks is considered viability. That means that everyday my baby girl is safely in my womb, her chances of survival go up each day by 3-4%. At something like 28 weeks, survival is up to 90%. She's getting stronger and healthier. I think that's pretty damn amazing.
Now, having said all this....I'm sending up a prayer to God for our little girl to stay safely in me until at least 37 weeks <3 p="p">
In other news. My friend T just found out she's having a healthy baby girl! T is only 13 1/2 weeks pregnant and, at 43 years old with no husband or significant other, went to my clinic to try to get pregnant with donor sperm and her own eggs. She was on the verge of giving up after 3 or 4 IVF cycles. She had never seen a positive test, never had any frozen left over. Well-she got pregnant! She has since graduated back to the OB (she's using mine) and they gave her a new blood test (Maternity 21 I believe it is called) which can detect all the trisonomies (sp). Anyway-the baby came back with a clean bill of health and they were able to determine that she's a she! T is over and above the moon! I'm so happy for her. She's had it rough in the past with taking in a foster baby at 6 weeks, only to lose him to his drug addled parents at one year (yeah, because that's how our system works). She will be a wonderful mother. And she lives about 5 minutes from my house. So there will hopefully be a lot of play dates in our future.
Our little girl is moving up a storm. I love feeling it. I think I feel more this time around because my placenta is not anterior. We are about 80% set on the name Hayden. Now we just need to decide on a middle name. I like Hayden Olivia, because I think it flows nicely. Dan isn't so sure. Some of our other options are Hayden Caroline, Hayden Daniella and Hayden Adria (Adria for Dan's grandfather who passed the day before we found out we were pregnant. His name was Adrianus. But we are not going there, lol). Any thoughts on the middle name?
We probably won't think about doing anything with the nursery until the end of February. Dan's sister, husband and their little boy will be coming to visit from Australia for two weeks in February. So they will need to use the guest room/baby's room-to-be. Not to mention, we might need to temporarily move Alex to the guest bedroom too, as we are having some water leakage issues in the closet of her room...which means a new sub flooring and replacing the carpet. Ugh. So yeah. This baby might not have a room until she is six months old! I'm trying to not let it bug me. It's not important in the scheme of things. But I just like having things set.
Anyway...I continue to pray that this baby will be born safely and be healthy and normal. I never truly relax until the baby is in my arms.
Monday, December 31, 2012
2012.
2012....It was the *best* of times....and the *worst* of times.
That really sums up 2012 for us. It was definitely a mixed bag. We started our IVF cycle in 2012-which failed and also made me very sick. We lost Dan's grandfather (Opsie) and my best friend's father died very unexpectedly on Saturday. I knew him since I was eight. He was a wonderful man, a spectacular father and always showed such patience and kindness...even when he was carting a bunch of 16 year old's to the mall or the movies. I had my kidney stone and massive kidney infection that landed me in the hospital with sepsis and delayed our IF treatment for several months. My husband's cousin had a tubing accident and is now in a medicated coma with a TBI :( My family, friends and I have also lost several acquaintances this year. I just seems like there was a lot of bad news to go around.
But then....there was some spectacular stuff that happened too. Dan and I bought a beautiful house. We had our summer trip to Australia....we got pregnant on a frozen cycle that NO ONE really thought would take. We had our anatomy scan and, so far (knock on wood) baby girl is healthy and all looks good. Alex is growing into a beautiful, smart, funny, precocious, amazing older toddler. She gives us such joy. Every day. And she makes every year amazing. We look forward to seeing her with her sister in 2013.
So yes. It was a tough year. At some points, a grueling year. An amazing year too. It's what Glennon Melton (blogger) would call "Brutiful". Which is a mix of brutal and beautiful. How apt is that??? Brutiful. Definitely.
So here's to 2013. I hope that we have a healthy baby girl in about 3 1/2-4 months. But most importantly of all, I wish for health, safety and togetherness for our family of (soon-to-be) four.
That really sums up 2012 for us. It was definitely a mixed bag. We started our IVF cycle in 2012-which failed and also made me very sick. We lost Dan's grandfather (Opsie) and my best friend's father died very unexpectedly on Saturday. I knew him since I was eight. He was a wonderful man, a spectacular father and always showed such patience and kindness...even when he was carting a bunch of 16 year old's to the mall or the movies. I had my kidney stone and massive kidney infection that landed me in the hospital with sepsis and delayed our IF treatment for several months. My husband's cousin had a tubing accident and is now in a medicated coma with a TBI :( My family, friends and I have also lost several acquaintances this year. I just seems like there was a lot of bad news to go around.
But then....there was some spectacular stuff that happened too. Dan and I bought a beautiful house. We had our summer trip to Australia....we got pregnant on a frozen cycle that NO ONE really thought would take. We had our anatomy scan and, so far (knock on wood) baby girl is healthy and all looks good. Alex is growing into a beautiful, smart, funny, precocious, amazing older toddler. She gives us such joy. Every day. And she makes every year amazing. We look forward to seeing her with her sister in 2013.
So yes. It was a tough year. At some points, a grueling year. An amazing year too. It's what Glennon Melton (blogger) would call "Brutiful". Which is a mix of brutal and beautiful. How apt is that??? Brutiful. Definitely.
So here's to 2013. I hope that we have a healthy baby girl in about 3 1/2-4 months. But most importantly of all, I wish for health, safety and togetherness for our family of (soon-to-be) four.
Saturday, December 15, 2012
It's A......
GIRRRRRRLLLLLLL!
Another itty bitty baby girl. I. Am. Thrilled!
Seriously, I didn't care either way, all that much, but like 51% of me wanted another little girl while it was like 49% for a boy.
It would be cool to have both genders, but I love the idea of having sisters. Girls having each other their whole life. There's something extra special about that <3 p="p">
And the best part is....the anatomy scan was all perfectly normal. Her organs looked great, she was right on, growth-wise, her cord looked great, my cervix looked good. Everything is as it should be (knock on wood because I'm still paranoid and superstitious). And my integrated screening (looking for things like Down's, Trisomy 18 and neural defects) came back negative too...
Basically, my OB said, "Yeah, things look good....not even much worth commenting on".
LOL-when doctors don't have anything to comment on, that's usually a good sign ;)
Until yesterday, I really had no idea how much I was holding my breath on this whole pregnancy. I guess, this whole time, I was so worried because of it being a frozen embryo (fair grade no less) and starting off so rocky. I was just so worried something was wrong. Having the big anatomy scan really opened my eyes up to the fact that I was withholding a part of myself, emotionally, to prevent myself from getting hurt. Now I just feel so much more....attached. I feel like she's a real person now. I'm even talking to her ("chastising" her for making mommy so sick still, even at 20 weeks, lol).
I know that there is never any guarantees with pregnancy or anything else. So I'm going to keep praying for the health and safe delivery of this baby. I take nothing for granted. Thank you God, so very much <3 adulthood="adulthood" and="and" are="are" babies="babies" beyond.....because="beyond.....because" both="both" can="can" dan="dan" healthy="healthy" i="i" in="in" into="into" keep="keep" life.="life." matter="matter" my="my" nbsp="nbsp" of="of" only="only" our="our" p="p" please="please" raise="raise" really="really" safe="safe" so="so" that="that" the="the" things="things" this="this" those="those" we="we">
Another itty bitty baby girl. I. Am. Thrilled!
Seriously, I didn't care either way, all that much, but like 51% of me wanted another little girl while it was like 49% for a boy.
It would be cool to have both genders, but I love the idea of having sisters. Girls having each other their whole life. There's something extra special about that <3 p="p">
And the best part is....the anatomy scan was all perfectly normal. Her organs looked great, she was right on, growth-wise, her cord looked great, my cervix looked good. Everything is as it should be (knock on wood because I'm still paranoid and superstitious). And my integrated screening (looking for things like Down's, Trisomy 18 and neural defects) came back negative too...
Basically, my OB said, "Yeah, things look good....not even much worth commenting on".
LOL-when doctors don't have anything to comment on, that's usually a good sign ;)
Until yesterday, I really had no idea how much I was holding my breath on this whole pregnancy. I guess, this whole time, I was so worried because of it being a frozen embryo (fair grade no less) and starting off so rocky. I was just so worried something was wrong. Having the big anatomy scan really opened my eyes up to the fact that I was withholding a part of myself, emotionally, to prevent myself from getting hurt. Now I just feel so much more....attached. I feel like she's a real person now. I'm even talking to her ("chastising" her for making mommy so sick still, even at 20 weeks, lol).
I know that there is never any guarantees with pregnancy or anything else. So I'm going to keep praying for the health and safe delivery of this baby. I take nothing for granted. Thank you God, so very much <3 adulthood="adulthood" and="and" are="are" babies="babies" beyond.....because="beyond.....because" both="both" can="can" dan="dan" healthy="healthy" i="i" in="in" into="into" keep="keep" life.="life." matter="matter" my="my" nbsp="nbsp" of="of" only="only" our="our" p="p" please="please" raise="raise" really="really" safe="safe" so="so" that="that" the="the" things="things" this="this" those="those" we="we">
Her shirt says, "I'm the big sister"
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