Sunday, October 21, 2012

The LAST Week

Well here I am....twelve weeks. The last week of my first trimester. And I'm not going to lie. It. Has. Dragged. Seriously, it feels like I have been pregnant forever, without the huge baby basketball.

I went for my first visit with my normal OB last Thursday. It went well, except that he wants me to see a perinatologist. So yeah. That was kind of deflating. Apparently, they have someone contracted to come to the office two days out of the month. And why do *I* get to go? Because on my history form, I noted that Dan's first cousin has Noonan's Syndrome. It's basically a genetic syndrome that has a cluster of signs such as Dwarfism, mild mental retardation, heart issues, etc. No one has really ever heard of NS, but it's fairly prevalent--almost as prevalent at Down's. Basically, my doctor is very cautious (which is good) and wants me to see the Peri for some genetic counseling. Kind of covering all bases. At this point, there is nothing pointing to an issue and everything on the u/s looks I think it's kind of just a safe guard (knock on wood). Still kind of disconcerting to see a Peri though. I'm hoping it is only one time. BUT--I do appreciate my doctor looking out for me and wanting to make sure that there are no surprises. He is thorough. Much more so than my last ob/gyn.

Anyway, I had my NT scan on Thursday and we saw our little bub waving his/her hands and kicking. At one point s/he took a big kick against the side of the sac and went flying across the sac to the other side. Was very cute. His/her nuchal fold measured in at 1.2, which is within normal limits. For those who don't know, measuring this fold along with taking bloods can give you a risk assessment (high or low) as to whether your baby might have a genetic issue such as Down's, Trisomy 18 or spinal issues. So it's good that the baby has a normal fold. It's also a good time to get a longer, more detailed u/s. It's amazing how, at only 12 weeks, the baby looks so **human** like and not so reptilian anymore, lol.

As for am I doing? I'll admit, this pregnancy has been tough. I've been a lot sicker this time around, a lot more tired (probably from having a 2.5 year old too) and my mood has been up and down. Which sucks. I've been so full of hormones from the estrogen pills and the progesterone (which I'm still on), not to mention pregnancy hormones--that I don't know if I am coming or going half the time. I don't really mind the physical symptoms so much (hell, I'm down nine pounds from before I was pregnant), but the up and down emotions are exhausting. I don't really know what to do with them, as I am typically fairly even keeled. So I'm taking it a day at a time. And keeping myself busy. Which isn't so difficult.

I think the guilt is also beginning to settle in. I'm worried about how Alex will feel when this baby arrives. I know I will love the baby and don't worry about that, but I can't stop thinking about how Alex might feel. Will she feel rejected/dejected because she won't be the absolute center of everything? I know, in my heart, that this is a good thing for her, but I'm kind of nervous about how things will change. I just want Alex to always know how much she is loved and that nothing--no one--will ever change that. Bah! Now I'm tearing up again. Dang hormones!

 It has owls! I just couldn't resist <3 p="p">'s a baby! 11 weeks, 4 days here. Active little one too. Amazing that this was the frozen embryo that gave me an hcg level of 25.5 at 15dpo. We've come a long way....

Thursday, October 4, 2012

A Milestone...

Had the 9 week scan on Tuesday and it all went well :) Baby is beginning to look like a baby now with a discernible head and trunk. We also saw little arms and legs now and our little one was waving his/her arms all over the place. The nurse commented that s/he was "moving like crazy". Heart beat was great, too, at 174 bpm :) Very very similar to Alex's heart beat at this stage. Hmmmm...another girl???? I'd LOOOOVVVVEEEE another girl because Alex is so darn fun. And I love the relationship that girls can have with their moms when they are older. And I'd love for Alex to have a sister. Even if she doesn't appreciate it ALL the time when she's younger, I'm hoping that they will be close as adults. My sister and I get along well now that we are older. But she lives 2 1/2 hours away. That kind of makes it tough to be really close. I hope that Alex is close with her sibling.

But a boy would be cool too. Having one of each, knowing what it's like to raise both genders....there is something special in that as well. So I guess it's a win-win situation either way. But I just can't imagine myself having a boy. Not that I don't want's just something I could never imagine. Probably because I have one girl and because it was just my sister and I. I feel like I have soooooo long to wait in order to find out. But really, just as long as everything looks ok, I don't care. Win-win no matter what, as long as everything is ok.

Anyway, getting back to my was measuring 3-4 days behind, which appears to be par for the course with this little one. The nurse did not seem concerned at all, as it was within the u/s margin of error anyway. I still am a little bit worried-but I'm a worrier by nature-about some things anyway. Things like this. I find pregnancy to be super stressful and anxiety provoking. I just do. I don't like *not* knowing what is going on in there. I find myself to be much more relaxed when the baby is actually out and I have control over more of what is going on. So I need to work through this.

I graduated, by the way :) My fertility specialist has released me to go back to my regular OB/GYN. I was expecting it, but talk about bitter sweet. One of the receptionists gave me a big hug when I was leaving. I told one NP that, if all goes well, I look forward to never *ever* having to go back there again, lol.

My next appointment will be when I'm almost 12 weeks with my normal doctor on the 18th. We will begin with an ultrasound because we are doing the first trimester integrated screening. That's where the measure the fold on the back of the baby's neck. Dan will get to come with me to that appointment and he will get to see the little bub for the first time. Poor guy has just seen pictures and videos, as he can't come because he is getting Alex ready for daycare. So that's about it for now :) I'm keeping everything crossed that things keep going well <3 anything="anything" for="for" granted....="granted...." not="not" p="p" taking="taking">
Baby C at 9 weeks 2 days. The head is on the right.