Sunday, October 21, 2012

The LAST Week

Well here I am....twelve weeks. The last week of my first trimester. And I'm not going to lie. It. Has. Dragged. Seriously, it feels like I have been pregnant forever, without the huge baby basketball.

I went for my first visit with my normal OB last Thursday. It went well, except that he wants me to see a perinatologist. So yeah. That was kind of deflating. Apparently, they have someone contracted to come to the office two days out of the month. And why do *I* get to go? Because on my history form, I noted that Dan's first cousin has Noonan's Syndrome. It's basically a genetic syndrome that has a cluster of signs such as Dwarfism, mild mental retardation, heart issues, etc. No one has really ever heard of NS, but it's fairly prevalent--almost as prevalent at Down's. Basically, my doctor is very cautious (which is good) and wants me to see the Peri for some genetic counseling. Kind of covering all bases. At this point, there is nothing pointing to an issue and everything on the u/s looks I think it's kind of just a safe guard (knock on wood). Still kind of disconcerting to see a Peri though. I'm hoping it is only one time. BUT--I do appreciate my doctor looking out for me and wanting to make sure that there are no surprises. He is thorough. Much more so than my last ob/gyn.

Anyway, I had my NT scan on Thursday and we saw our little bub waving his/her hands and kicking. At one point s/he took a big kick against the side of the sac and went flying across the sac to the other side. Was very cute. His/her nuchal fold measured in at 1.2, which is within normal limits. For those who don't know, measuring this fold along with taking bloods can give you a risk assessment (high or low) as to whether your baby might have a genetic issue such as Down's, Trisomy 18 or spinal issues. So it's good that the baby has a normal fold. It's also a good time to get a longer, more detailed u/s. It's amazing how, at only 12 weeks, the baby looks so **human** like and not so reptilian anymore, lol.

As for am I doing? I'll admit, this pregnancy has been tough. I've been a lot sicker this time around, a lot more tired (probably from having a 2.5 year old too) and my mood has been up and down. Which sucks. I've been so full of hormones from the estrogen pills and the progesterone (which I'm still on), not to mention pregnancy hormones--that I don't know if I am coming or going half the time. I don't really mind the physical symptoms so much (hell, I'm down nine pounds from before I was pregnant), but the up and down emotions are exhausting. I don't really know what to do with them, as I am typically fairly even keeled. So I'm taking it a day at a time. And keeping myself busy. Which isn't so difficult.

I think the guilt is also beginning to settle in. I'm worried about how Alex will feel when this baby arrives. I know I will love the baby and don't worry about that, but I can't stop thinking about how Alex might feel. Will she feel rejected/dejected because she won't be the absolute center of everything? I know, in my heart, that this is a good thing for her, but I'm kind of nervous about how things will change. I just want Alex to always know how much she is loved and that nothing--no one--will ever change that. Bah! Now I'm tearing up again. Dang hormones!

 It has owls! I just couldn't resist <3 p="p">'s a baby! 11 weeks, 4 days here. Active little one too. Amazing that this was the frozen embryo that gave me an hcg level of 25.5 at 15dpo. We've come a long way....

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