Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Three Months!

Roughly three months to go until we *definitely* go back to our fertility clinic! It seems like so much time, but I know that it will pass quickly-especially with our trip back to Australia this July. I feel disappointed that we did not go back to treatments earlier. Heck, we had our consultation last September. I was planning to go back then. I even had the *very* dreaded HSG (for a second time) in October...which, incidentally, is way easier once you have a baby. But alas, here we are nine months later. We were supposed to get started in September...but life happened. Job demands, hectic schedules, plans, obligations. And really, I wasn't ready. I have loved my time with just Alex (and Dan). I'm so glad that we have just been able to enjoy being a family of three...but I still wonder about "what might have been".

I guess I just worry that it will take a long time once we do go back for treatments, and that there will be a huge age gap between Alexandra and the next child. I want her to have a buddy, a companion, a best friend. I want her to have a playmate and a confidante. I want that for my child. I hope I can give it to her. And then reality crashes in and I realize that I should be less worried about a big age gap and more worried about actually being able to give Alex a sibling :(

So I don't know if we were right in waiting. The thought enters my head that if we actually started ttc after our consultation, we might be about ready to have a baby. That makes me equal parts wistful and semi-relieved. I'm not quite ready for Alexandra to be the older sibling...but I want so badly for her to have a sibling who is close enough in age to be going through the same life experiences. And to share those life experiences.

I hope we did the right thing in waiting. I hope I don't have any regrets.

And on a happier note..some pics of the little monkey :) It's been hot here...95+ degrees. We've spent most of the day outside!

 Alex's new playhouse. Might just be the best purchase ever! She loved going in and out of the door

 Making a mid-afternoon snack for mommy

 Little monkey

 Making sure there's no mail in there

She loves her little cottage!

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