Jealous???

I think I might have new baby envy?! Friends of ours are due to have their baby any minute-they're overdue really. I keep remembering the excitement of that time-of thinking about what the baby will look like and sound like. The excitement of adding a whole new person to the family and to your life (I think I have conveniently blocked out the sleepless nights though). I guess I'm surprised that the feeling of envy struck me this early. I didn't expect it for another six months at least. So perhaps I'm more ready than I had thought to go back to our fertility specialist.

I've been really torn between wanting to have another child, to complete our family....and wanting to keep Alexandra an only child for a little bit longer. I really am just enjoying us being a family of three and probably would be content with this for a few years longer. But the reality is-I don't know how long it will take to get pregnant this time around. I don't know what we'll be facing. Will it be easy? Will it be a long and difficult process? Will I have any more losses? Despite these worries and some conflicting feelings, I think we're ready to move ahead. It's kind of one of those things where you sometimes just have to jump feet first in and stop agonizing over the decision...and just hope for the best....