Musings of a Formerly-Infertile, Infertile Woman: Best Day of My Life....

Hands down, the best day of my life was a year ago today...the day Alexandra came into this world. My long awaited, long prayed for, long toiled for child. That whole day feels so surreal now. It was a long induction. I went into the hospital on Friday-they started the Cervidil and we waited. On Saturday, they began the Pitocin. And we waited. And waited. It became evident that Alex was not going to be born that day. The Pitocin was not doing its job-no matter how high the dose! Dan and my parents tried to distract me as much as possible. We watched movies, read books, played on our laptops. I updated JM and Facebook, we had visitors.

The doctor came in that night and told me that, one way or another, we would be having a baby the next day. I think reality hit me then and I began to get nervous (and excited). This was really happening!!! This day, which I feared would never come, was coming! All the tears and heartache and anger...and we were finally getting our baby. It was almost too good to be true. I prayed that everything would go well, that Alex would be delivered safe and sound. Then the nurse gave me some very mild sleeping pills-because heck-there was no way I was sleeping after getting that bit of news-and I zonked out.

Sunday, January 17th, 2010

I woke up pretty early. Dan had spent the night on the pull out sofa/chair thing. I couldn't have any breakfast until after the doctor checked me. If I had not dilated at all during the night (I was at zero despite a whole day of Pitocin), then they would do a C-section (at this point I didn't care how she came out-as long as she did come out!). If I was dilated even a little bit, they would try to break my water to trigger labor. Well....after 24 hour of Pitocin....I was at 1 centimeter! I still have to laugh, only 1cm after all that time. Alexandra was stubborn that's for sure.

Around noon, the doctor broke my water and announced that it was clear, good sign. Almost immediately after breaking it, I had super intense contractions. I felt like my pelvis was going to break apart into pieces. I was SO not prepared for the pain. Especially because there was no build up...the contractions started out very intense. My parents were there and I remember my dad looking more and more uncomfortable as I really began having a hard time. Poor guy-no one wants to see their kids in pain...even if they are 29 and having their own child.

I begged for an epidural once I hit 2cm. It took the anesthesiologist THREE tries to get it in!!! And the whole time, I was having incredible contractions-which made staying still while the needle went in super hard. After the epi, it was just a haze for hours. I really don't remember much, though I know I was awake. I remember feeling a lot of pressure as Alexandra descended. I remember the nurse coming into the room to have me move onto my side because they could tell from her heart rate that her cord was getting compressed in the birth canal. Thankfully, it went back up to normal upon changing positions.

And then it was time. It took me 5 hours to go from 1cm to 10cm. It took a half hour of pushing, with Dan and my mom in the room. And at 5:55 pm on January 17, 2010, Alexandra took her first breath of air. I remember just wanting to hear her, to really hear her for the first time. To know she was ok. And I can't describe the experience. It was just a miracle. The whole day, that moment. I had no idea what it would feel like. And I still cannot describe it. It changed me, gave me a whole new purpose in life. We fell in love with the little person we created, and I can't imagine there is anything in the world that we wouldn't do for her. I can only hope and pray that we are blessed to be able to go through the experience again and that we have two happy and healthy children! Happy First Birthday, Alexandra Eva!!!!