I'm Back To Dumpster Diving Again...

It happened. I knew that sooner or later it would. I had a pregnancy "scare". Ha! That's my own little joke...the bit about the pregnancy scare. Can an infertile actually have a pregnancy scare? We are ntnp, but I am totally not expecting anything to happen, so I was surprised when my period was late. Despite having PCOS, since Alexandra was born, it has been coming more regularly and with only about 25 days (on average) between cycles. So yes, I was surprised when I was late by 10 days and had some symptoms of pregnancy. Of course, I was deliriously excited that I might be "one of those" women who don't have to try after the first pregnancy. I actually thought there was a chance. At one point I was convinced. And this is usually not like me-AT ALL.

So I took a test once we were home from Australia. Even more of a teaser is that about 5 days prior, I had a small amount of blood when wiping and then NOTHING. Not a hint of blood for 5 days. Ummm, hello??!! Does this not sound like implantation? Well, that's what I thought.

To make matters worse, nothing sucks more than taking a pregnancy test the morning AFTER having a dream about getting a positive test. I thought that, perhaps, this was a sign: some cosmic womanly phenomenon that allowed me to see into the future. Or perhaps the dream was an instinctual apparition?

So yeah, I was kind of jacked up. Excited. Even after two minutes of waiting for that second line to appear, I was still expectant. Then three minutes, four minutes. I finally conceded defeat after 5 minutes. However, that did not stop me from placing the stupid test into the garbage carefully, so that I might be able to see the result window when going to the bathroom. Yes, I am shameless. I even reached in to pick it back up the next day-just to make sure that the now present evaporation line didn't have any color. It didn't. I've come full circle, I guess. Time to call the specialist and get back in there before the crazy starts...

 Alexandra and her cousin, Rylee