Saturday, September 10, 2011

A Tough Week...

It has been a tough, emotionally draining week for a few reasons.

1. Alex's first time at daycare. She is having difficulty adjusting, which I expected. She is a shy child to begin with, so I knew it would be difficult. I just didn't understand how hard it would be on me to see her having so much trouble :( It really is just like a weight on my chest, in my heart. She cries at drop-off and then cries off and on during the day. I hate knowing that. The only thing that is keeping me going is that she does have fun at times and does a lot of stuff (sock puppets, coloring, painting, story time, circle time, playtime on the play ground). I know it's good for her to be socializing and having her own relationships. I just hate this adjustment period. I *hate* that I can't make everything "right" in her world instantly. It's frustrating because I don't know if this is a "normal"/healthy adjustment period, or if it should be going easier? We've decided to give it to the end of the month before we reevaluate the situation. I don't want to pull her out if this is a normal transition period because there is so much there that will be good for her. I feel powerless though. And I just carry that stress around.

2. Trauma response back at work. We lost two little kids over the summer-both unexpected and heart breaking situations. I've been doing a lot of grief/trauma counseling of both the staff and the students. It takes its toll, emotionally.

3. I called my fertility center. Supposed to be good news, right? Well, not so much :( I was told last year, at my consultation, that I could call anytime that I wanted to come back (since I had my consultation and HSG). The nurse practitioner assured me that I didn't need to come back within a certain amount of time. I even emailed her to make sure last spring. We are definitely ready to go back now: we saved money for an extended maternity leave, I got extra time off by saving up my sick days. We are so much more ready than we were last year at my consultation. Anyway, to make a long story short, that nurse is no longer working at the center and they informed me that because I have not been back in a year, we need to do ANOTHER consultation. And while that's not a problem, they are booking out new consultations in December! :( :( I explained my situation to them (how I am a previous patient, what the former nurse said, etc) and they were very nice. Told me that they would certainly put me on a cancellation list, but the earliest that could do was December. I'm just so disappointed. And after the week I've had, I would have liked some good news-something imminent to look forward to.

So that is my tale of woe. Please pray/send good vibes/keep your fingers crossed for Alex. That's my biggest worry right now...that she adjust quickly and be happy.

 Alex's first day of daycare

 Introducing Alex to her frog potty. We are only just beginning to think of potty training.

 Alex decided it was much more fun to dissemble the potty

 Walking around with it is fun too. Glad there were no deposits yet!

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