Friday, April 18, 2014

Don't Blame the Cleaner...Word to the Wise...

My child has a fantastic, steel trap, almost freakishly long memory. Obviously we are talking about the older one here.

She remembers everything. Although, some of it I think she makes up, i.e., "Mom...remember when you said I could get a slushy today" or "Remember when you said we could get a pig and name it Harvey". That was actually a real one too.

My daughter is a hoarder. Stuffed animals, toys, itty bitty little Barbie shoes, itty bitty doll tiaras. She won't even let me throw out her socks that have a big ol' hole in the big toe area.

But what is a dangerous combination??? When your child hoards and has a steel trap memory! Because you can't. get. rid. of. anything.....ever.

Which, of course, means that I use the time while she is at school to get rid of things. I think that I'm getting rid of tiny, inconsequential items. I would never get rid of anything important or anything she still plays with, or even anything she's merely looked at within the last six months. However, she always finds out.

Sometimes it's at 3am, when she wakes up after the startling revelation that all 34 stuffed animals are not on the bed with her. One is a toy basket next to her bed. All hell ensues. Yes. This has happened.

But the worst is when she is looking for some tiny piece of junk...a particular Barbie shoe, a half deflated balloon, a plastic party whistle. These are things I try to clear out of the house on a weekly basis. Purge is more like it. And I'm always, always confident that she won't miss these things.

And, invariably, she does. She asks and whines and get upset when she can't find what she is looking for. And what do I do, wuss mom that I am????

I blame it on the cleaning lady...a wonderful woman who cleans our house once/week. She is heaven sent. Seriously.

I figure there's no harm in it, right? I say, "Oh hon...I'm sorry, Brenda must have thrown it out by accident". Alex kind of does the whole "Oh shucks" routine, but gets over it.

This works because Alex doesn't see Brenda. She comes and cleans while we are at gymnastics and then play group. It's convenient. Brenda is the scapegoat for me having a less cluttered house.

So yeah, it has worked out really well for me, and Brenda was none the wiser. Until this past Thursday. We got home from gymnastics and playing early. Brenda was in the final stages of cleaning. Alex said hi to her and was very polite and happy to see her. And then...I saw her face change. And she marched over to Brenda and proceeded with: "Brenda (or "Bwenda" as Alex calls her) need to stop throwing out my dolly shoes, I need them...especially Cinderella's glass slippers". Brenda, poor Brenda tries to defend herself, but my kid is having none of it..."Because my mommy said that you are the one who throws out the shoes by accident".

And then it comes back to me. I'm a bad person. I know this. I make some sort of laugh and tell Alex to stop bugging Brenda. But yes...I do feel like an ass. And it was kind of awkward.

So there you go...don't shift time you get rid of something of your kid's...flat out denial of any and all knowledge is the best option.

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