I can't describe how bittersweet this is for me. I think that I am feeling more sentimental about this birthday than her first birthday. She's not a baby any longer. Last year-at only 12 months-she was still so little, still such a baby. She was only just weaning off of bottles and formula...she was still crawling....only speaking a handful of words. My Alex was more a baby than a toddler at 12 months.
Now, I will no longer be keeping track of Alex's age in months. Now she's two. That's what I will tell people. Now she runs and climbs (everything) and has friends and makes projects at "school". Now, Alex talks all the time (3-5 word sentences, too), has a HUGE vocabulary that I can no longer keep track of, can sing almost all of her ABC's, knows colors and shapes and can count to seven pretty consistently. Now, she has an imagination and loves to pretend. She has a vibrant, sassy, strong personality and likes to test the boundaries. But she's such a sweetie...and such a good listener (mostly). She's a toddler yes...but she is so different from last year, from her last birthday....she's more of a "kid" now.
It's all going so fast. Two years. Where did that time go? It scares me that it has gone so quickly. I want to slow down/stop time....but I am so enjoying all the stages that I very much look forward to what the future has in store. Bittersweet, most definitely. I'm torn, without a doubt. I've been a mom for two years; and there was a time when I doubted that I would ever get the chance to be a mom.
Two year ago today, Dan and I were at the hospital. I was being induced. We had stopped the induction for the night but would resume it the next day. My doctor came in to see me and said that "One way or another, we'll have a baby tomorrow". That night, two years ago, I was actually probably more scared than anything. I had so longed to be a mother, had focused so much on getting pregnant and staying pregnant, that I never really thought about how life would completely change. In the hospital room that night, the night before we had our baby...I actually let myself imagine a life with a baby for the first time. I finally relaxed and let myself believe that we would have the baby....and that brought out all the fears that some women have at the start of their pregnancies.
So it was an amazing, exciting, scary, petrifying night, the night before I gave birth. I hope to God we get to do it all again.
Happy Birthday to my baby girl, Alexandra Eva <3 <3 My dream for her is to have a long. happy. healthy life. I don't care what she does...I just want her to be happy.
I took tomorrow off for her birthday....so we get to go to her two year appointment and then will be off to have fun...meeting Noni for lunch and then going to the mall play place and bounce house. Should be a good day!!!