Monday, January 16, 2012

What the *Bleep* Was I thinking?

Seriously! What the heck was I thinking when I agreed to wait another month to begin treatments??? I must have been mentally impaired by an unknown source....undetected gas leak or something? Why did I think that I would be ok with this? That the month would go fast? That waiting a month wouldn't really matter in the scheme of things?

Holy heck...I must have been nuts! I.  am. going. crazy.  I seriously don't know what to do with myself. In my most "crazy" moments, I even think about just telling the doctor that I am only on day 3 or know, instead of day 10. I know, shameful. And I won't really....but man it's tempting! The craziness is reigning!

Now I know our reasons for waiting. But part of me now thinks that we were silly to wait another month. It's just another month of doing nothing and the chances of us getting pregnant that first month of treatments is fairly small anyway. Our reason for waiting-wanting to go to Australia to see Dan's grandmother and not being super pregnant-probably wouldn't have happened anyway.

I guess I'm just feeling kind of down at the moment. I'm sick of waiting. I like having a plan, I like taking action. Even if our first cycle wasn't successful, just knowing that we were taking action would help me feel better. I guess I'm just regretting our decision. This cycle can't end fast enough...

 All bundled up in several layers-poor kid, lol

 First time actually playing in snow. I know, I'm a bad mom that it took me so long to get her out there.


Ivan thought it was great fun to chase the sled!

No comments:

Post a Comment