Thursday, January 19, 2012

Things to Think About

Well I am sure that you all know the expression about judging a book by its cover? Of course you do. But isn't it interesting that, despite that very valid warning, we all do it? Some, of course, are better about it than others...but I think we all probably judge too quickly. Errrr...maybe not judge so much as make presumptions. This of course, can be applied to fertility. Heck-can't everything lately?  ;)

I got thinking about this lately because I have begun reading a blog. The woman is a mom of three kids. She's gorgeous, her husband is a stud (and I'm talking...they are both unnaturally good looking) and her kids are perfect (although so is Alex, lol). So I begin reading this blog--one of the few that I read--and probably the only one I read that is not fertility related. So I begin thinking..."man, this woman has THE life; three healthy kids, the first one was an 'oopsie'...she probably has NO IDEA what it's like to struggle and yearn and beg and plead for a bargain with God, etc".

I kept reading, despite my mindset that she has an easy fairy tale life. I kind of hated her. Just a little bit...but it was there. After reading it for awhile, it became apparent that this woman did not escape life unscathed. She openly admitted to having some huge, earth shattering issues in the past: bulimia, food addiction, drug and alcohol abuse. She hit rock bottom and almost didn't come out of it. She did...she survived....9 years clean and sober. What strength!

And the realization dawned on me--again (because I seem to forget this a lot)--that everyone has their story, their cross to bare. No one goes through life without heartbreak. No one goes through life without struggle. No one has it all, or has it all together. Unfortunately, I sometimes (ok, often) lose sight of the fact that I am not the only one going through tough stuff, that I am not the only one hurting. It's not all about me, apparently, lol. And just because someone has a gaggle of kids and is movie star beautiful, does not mean her life is a walk in the park. And there's always people worse off....

And then I think of myself and how I might look to others. Perhaps I am in the grocery store. What does someone see? A young (ish) woman who looks to be contentedly shopping with a healthy, adorable (if I say so myself) two year old. What might an infertile think? If it were me, pre-kids, I may have thought to myself "I hate you". You certainly can't look at me and know that I went through Clomid and injections and IUI's and two years of infertility.

I guess the point is...everyone goes through crap, and more people than you realize struggle to have babies. You aren't alone. If you are hurting, just know that zillions of others have been there, hurting too. And even if it's not the same struggle, we've all had times where getting out of bed is a daunting and daring task. But there's always an end to those times. They cannot go on forever. Persevere. On a side note--it's too bad we didn't have some sort of infertile badge to know, something subtle....

That blog, btw-is called Momastery (sp)...she's a fabulous writer :) Not only am I jealous of her un-PCOS ovaries-but of her writing as well. Check her out, it's a good read, even if she DID get preggo with an oopsie, lol.

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