That's totally how I am when there is a hint of "pregnancy suspense" in the air. Or perhaps the better adage would be: "a moth to a flame"?
Ok. So I mentioned a few blog posts ago that I thought that there was a second pregnant woman at work, the first being my friend Jen who is about 33 weeks along. Basically, our boss let it slip that there were "pregnant people" at work...so that got everyone wondering.
Needless to say, I have been on high alert:checking out mid-drifts, critiquing clothing choices (Wow, "Meg" is wearing a pretty loose fitting shirt) and taking inventory of lunches. Ok, I haven't been quite that insane. But I did notice that a few ladies were not eating deli meat. Hmmmmm....
Honestly, I just couldn't let it go. Even though I knew that I was going to be completely jealous and sad for myself, I just *had* to know who it was. What does that say about me? Am I a masochist? Turns out, it is my coworker, Andrea, who is pregnant. She is 8 weeks along. She told me that she was "super surprised" that she was even pregnant because it was their FIRST MONTH trying. Wow. Talk about a novel concept. I can't imagine what it must be like to just plan to get pregnant-and HAVE IT ACTUALLY HAPPEN. Getting pregnant on your first month of trying...isn't that some sort of fertility urban legend?
When it rains, it pours...pregnant women are taking over my life lately. Why, oh why, couldn't they all get pregnant a year earlier, when Alex was so much younger and my baby envy was at a minimum? And the thing about Andrea is that she will have the perfect baby belly because she is tiny. So she will have the perfect basketball. I won't lie. I am jealous. Can you tell?
And now for a note of positivity: 2 weeks till our appointment!
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:( i totally get it. I still get jealous sometimes and I AM pregnant. It just seems that fertile people always have something over us... like the fact that I highly doubt they have to worry much about m/c and they are completely obliviously happy.
ReplyDeleteI am trying to fight my worries, but once you've been through what we've been through, anxiety is a constant battle.
Praying your FIRST attempts brings that beautiful BFP!