Cycle Day 1

Oh yeah. I'm back to actually keeping track of my days! So today was the first day of my cycle and I am both happy and annoyed, lol. Annoyed because that means that my cycle was only 23 days long (not great IF there was a little embryo trying to implant), which makes me think that my progesterone is low and I probably did not ovulate. But I'm not too bummed out. Even if my progesterone is low-which is common with PCOS-my  fertility doctor will give me supplemental progesterone and hopefully that will be that. No worries (knock on wood, because God forbid I jinx myself)!

I'm also happy that today is CD1 because that means that, when we go back to the doctor on December 6th, I should be around CD 25. WHICH MEANS...if my period is following the same pattern (never a given with PCOS), I should not only be able to have my consultation BUT also my baseline ultrasound to begin treatments RIGHT AWAY! Hopefully this means that I do not have to wait weeks to get my period to start the baseline. So fingers crossed....I could use some good wishes and *awesome timing* vibes :) For those of you who aren't familiar with baseline ultrasounds, they must be done between CD 1-3. If you miss that window, you pretty much have to wait until your next cycle. That's why timing is so important and why I hope to be able to have my consultation and baseline all at once.

In other news...I've been feeling better lately. I just have to acknowledge my feelings and that it's ok to be worried and sad and anxious. I'm just trying to remember that worrying won't actually do me a bit of good. It's basically wasted energy. Easier said than done, though. I'm really trying not to set myself up for disappointment by hoping and thinking that we will get pregnant on my first injectable and IUI cycle, just because it happened that way last time. Would I absolutely love that? Of course. But I just want to *try* and take a wait and see attitude. If there is one thing I learned, it is that **only God knows the reasons for  when and how a child is conceived**.

For example, I have seen so many *perfect* cycles not yield a pregnancy (for myself and others) and I've also seen not-so-great cycles surprise everyone with a pregnancy.  My own personal example is that I had not responded well to the injections on the cycle I got pregnant with Alex. They had given me too low a dose and for awhile, it didn't look like I was going to have any mature eggs. They even discussed canceling the cycle when it looked as if only one egg *might* be mature. I said "heck no"! If there is one egg, I want to give it a shot (no pun intended). Turns out, that one egg was my baby girl. I thank God everyday that we chose to go ahead with the cycle.

So you just never know how or when or why. Even on your less than perfect cycles, try not to lose hope. And I guess....try not to rationalize the why's and why nots. I've come to believe that every star has to be in alignment for a pregnancy to occur. So I am hoping to wait patiently for that time to occur, and pray that the time will come and that we get pregnant with the child who is meant to be ours <3

Here are some fun pictures of our play date at an AWESOME bouncy house with my friend's sons, Jack and Owen. Courtney had a really tough time getting preggo with Jack and had been trying for about one year (she was diagnosed with PCOS). She was a week away from her consultation with a fertility specialist when she found out she was preggo :) And she is one of those lucky PCOS'ers who had no trouble getting pregnant the second time around. I guess these people DO exist and are not just a product of infertility urban legends! As for the bouncy house- Let me tell you-they didn't have this type of stuff when I was a kid!!!

 Alexandra was in ball heaven!

 In one of the little kid bouncy houses

 She loves dogs!!!

 Having fun on the car ride...but she almost mowed over two kids...

My daughter has a MAJOR obsession with buses at the moment...she she was on this for awhile...and did not want to share, lol.