Don't Get Stoned.

Ohhhhhhhhhh lord! Let me tell you this one.

At our follow up talk, Dr. G (who seems to enjoy a good joke, but isn't so good at actually making them) was filled in on my whole kidney stone issue. So he goes on to say how calling them stones was "funny" because, in reality, they are tiny little flecks of calcified something or other. I don't like to think about what the stones actually are because it's probably gross. Anyway, in reality, they are tiny. Although they hurt like a %@%$@$$@!

So the whole time, Dr. G is making jokes about "getting stoned". I mean, this happened multiple times in our conversation. See what I mean about having a good sense of humor, but sucking at actually *making* jokes?

Now I'm getting to the clincher: Our appointment is over. Dr. G gets up to leave. He opens the door. In front of the door is basically a nurse's station (a counter top really). And at this station was about five nurses.

So upon opening the door, he says to us "Ok now. Remember, don't get stoned anymore".

I'm not kidding. This is what he said. Verbatim.

The door was open. All the nurses stopped, turned around and GAWKED at us.

Dr. G, being a slightly clueless, hippy genius is completely clueless about what he said and that the nurses would NOT have understood the context.

So he says, very innocently: "Wow, I opened the door and you all turned to look at me. That's cool".

Seriously. Not making this up.

I wanted to slap myself on the forehead.

Duh. They're looking at me because they are thinking that I am getting baked before and after each appointment. Awesome.

Of course, Dan was pretty much keeled over with laughter.

Can't imagine what's going around that office. So I tried to act extra dignified upon leaving. You know, so NO ONE could possibly believe I was stoned. Ever try acting dignified? Yeah. It's hard. Like a drunk person trying to act sober.

So that was the close to our appointment. I have to admit though. It was kind of funny.