Thursday, September 20, 2012

Limbo Part Deux.

And to think that, with my promising 6 week scan, I thought I was somewhat out of limbo. Bahahahahaha. Joke's on me.

So as you can see from my somewhat bitter opening, my 7w, 2d scan did not go *as well* as I would have liked. Not all bad. But not great either. *sigh*

First the good: Baby's heart beat was 117 last week and is now up to 128-130...which is completely normal for this gestation **and** for what I am measuring. We were able to see the heartbeat--and HEAR it. Which, I gotta say, is way more amazing. I mean, how much more tangible proof do you need that there's something, a little parasite, growing in you???? I love love love hearing the hb. And I remember, when delivering Alex, I wanted to see her of course, but what I really wanted was to *hear* that cry for the first time. Guess I'm audiologically fixated. I dunno. So anyway-that was freakin' saweeet.

The not so great.  Baby was measuring 5 days behind. So instead of 7w2d, s/he was measuring 6w, 4d. Now I know that baby's very rarely ever measure completely on target. During my early pregnancy with Alex, she was generally between 1-3 days behind, but sometimes would also be completely accurate or a day ahead. It depends on the person measuring, the angle the baby is at, the equipment, etc etc etc. BUT...I don't remember her ever measuring 5 days behind. So yeah, it kind of freaks me out.

There *has* been growth since last week, because at 6w3d, I was measuring 6 weeks even. Again, 3 days off--no biggie. The nurse wasn't concerned in the slightest. Plus, I know for a fact that this little guy was a late implanter and that FET babies are slow to warm up. So I was ok with three days. But five. Really??? The nurse-who is kind of a cranky beast (terribly blunt, doesn't have the best bedside manner--great combo for working at a fertility clinic with hormonal women) was all like " could go either way...but I'm not terribly concerned at this stage....there's a pretty major margin of error with early scans....but it's just too early to tell". I asked this nurse to be straight with me and tell me what she thought, and she said she didn't have a feeling about the outcome one way or the other. So there you go. More limbo.

Now me, being a Google whore, looked up all sorts of data and it appears that there is a huge margin of error with early u/s and that anything within a week of the actual gestation is considered normal. Plus, I had two different techs measuring me (which could account for the difference), plus the baby was definitely in a different position this time. Last week, s/he was kind of just chilling, floating around and hanging straight down. This week, he or she was curled a bit around the yolk sac. So perhaps that accounts for some difference. Gah! All the unknowns! Will I ever stop worrying about this child???

So there you have it. I don't know what's happening. I don't know what to think. I called my good friend who happens to be an u/s tech at one of the local hospitals (who incidentally did my early anatomy scan for Alex and was able to tell us her gender) and she really felt the measurement was no big deal at all. I don't think she was blowing smoke up my ass. We don't have that type of friendship. My other friend, my bff, is a labor and delivery nurse who has seen countless u/s...she didn't think it was a big deal either. I hope that are right....

I go for another u/s tomorrow morning. 7:15. I just want an answer. In the end, I want a healthy baby. I would rather have a healthy baby *later* than a sick baby *now*.

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