Saturday, December 10, 2011

Fertility Update, Pregnancy Announcment & Alex Update...

Well this blog entry is going to have a little bit of everything...a hodge podge if you will.

Firstly...we got the results of Dan's seamen analysis back yesterday and everything came back within completely normal limits-motility, morphology, count, viscosity, etc etc etc-all completely normal :) We had no reason to believe that things would not be normal on that front, as there were no issues last time, but it's always nice to hear that things are STILL good in that particular arena.

Today was a big first for Alexandra....we converted her crib into a toddler bed! I thought I was going to feel a little bit nostalgic, but I held it together, lol. Seriously, it's better this way...we got our wake up call that it was time for a change when she had one whole leg dangling over the rails of her crib. So yeahhhh...probably best this way, although it was really nice to have her contained to ONE space!

After getting Alex's room and bed in order, we went to our town's festival of lights and then to my parents' house for pizza and wings. We had a very nice time, although I don't know that Alex was too impressed with the Santa at the festival. She was kind of giving him the dirt eye. Although I guess he would appear to be somewhat freakish to a two year old who doesn't yet "get" who Santa is!

So was a very nice night, but once we got home I was completely blindsided! You see, my preg-dar has been twitching for awhile now about one of my cousins. She is 32 and has been married for 2 1/2 years. She wants kids. Basically, I'm just waiting for the announcement and have been kind of mentally preparing myself that "the" announcement might take place on Sunday, at the big family Christmas party that her parents throw. So yeah, I've been mentally preparing for that. BUT-I was blindsided because when I got home tonight, one of my good friends from college messaged me on FB saying that she is expecting!

I am thrilled for my friend. She is 11 weeks and due June 30th. Yes, I'm very happy for her. But kind of sad for myself. Of course. As usual. I wonder if I will ever feel simple, complete happiness at hearing a pregnancy announcement??? I wonder, even if we go on to have a second or third baby and are no longer trying, will I still feel a little bit sad when hearing about pregnancies? Has infertility become that much a part of my life? Will this be pain that, to some degree, I carry around forever-even if only because I can *remember* the pain so vividly? What will life be like if I am ever fortunate enough to be DONE building our family and fertility does not matter? What will it feel like to no longer have to think about this stuff? God, please let these treatments work. Please let us have one more healthy baby....

So I'll keep you updated about tomorrow, in regard to whether my preg-dar is accurate or not. If it, two pregnancy announcements in 24 hours. I may need to go on a bender of some sort, perhaps some SERIOUS retail therapy. Whatever it takes to get through this infertility jungle, right?

Alex's toddler bed!

She loved being able to climb in and out on her own!

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