Or, to be more specific: 7dp3dt. Same thing either way. Woke up to a nice BFN this morning. That one hurt. I know that it's still *very* early and all, but I got my first positive test with Alex at 10 dpo. And it was a fairly dark line at that-no squinting, no holding the stick up to the light. I know that no two pregnancies are the same...but rational versus emotional thoughts are waring and the emotional side is winning. It just seems like a lot of people get their positives at 10dpo. Needless to say, I'm feeling discouraged. I feel like "it's" over, logical or not.
I just don't get it. How could neither embryo take? They were decent quality...how could both arrest or not implant or whatever? So, ok, I'm probably getting ahead of myself...but I'm really just not feeling "it" for this cycle. I don't think that this is our time.
And to make my day even more fun, I was greeted with another pregnancy announcement on FB. A girl I went to high school with just posted a picture of a positive test. She just got married *literally* three weeks ago. I can't even think petty nasty thoughts to make myself feel better, such as "oh, they got married because she was pregnant"...because she wasn't yet! Bah!
I think I fell victim to the thinking that IVF would fix everything....that it would be a sure thing. Maybe a pain in the butt, but a sure thing. The magic bullet to baby-dom. Now that I most likely don't have the luxary of that thought, I feel a little bit lost. A little bit hopeless-especially since my eggs kind of sucked this time around.
We shall see what happens.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Noooooooooooooo!!! Don't take early tests!!! During my two week wait I just won't do it. I'm determined to believe that I am pregnant unless proven otherwise by the doctor. I insist on spending my 2 week wait thinking I am pregnant, walking like I'm pregnant, believing l am pregnant. It is the most hopeful I can be!! My first ivf 2 week wait was crushed when I got my period 1 week early... So I'm at such a Happy place now! I'll be ok to wait until Monday!! Be hopeful Amanda!! It's good for the baby!! ;). Elizabeth
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping today's test was too early and that you end up with a BFP. Sorry you aren't feeling it this time. The pregnancy announcement after 3 weeks of being married is bullshit! I had my own rant about pregnancy announcements today.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth-How I wish I had your resolve!!! I am quite simply a poas-addict from way back, lol. This cycle sounds promising for you! Please please please come back here and give me an update-I'll have no way of knowing if there is any news to celebrate :)
ReplyDeleteLiz-Just read your pregnancy announcement rant...doesn't it just kill ya??? I just don't get how it's as easy as breathing for some women. I just found out that a high school student I evaluated last year (emotionally disturbed, violent, etc etc) is pregnant. This is one girl who SHOULD NOT EVER have a child...it's just a scary thought. What a slap in the face! I'll be keeping updated on your FET and keeping everything crossed for you!