Thursday, March 15, 2012


Well, life is generally back to normal. I'm not sick (well, a little stuffed up perhaps), Alex isn't sick, Dan isn't sick, the period from-absolute-hell is almost over, I'm off the blood thinners now, not jabbing myself with needles daily, no suppositories in my immediate future...and I can exercise again! Back to Zumba and Hit Fit! Although, the mandatory break was kind of nice, let's be honest. Especially because I didn't have to feel guilty. After all, taking a break wasn't *my* idea....

I went to the clinic on Tuesday for my Beta blood test. There is something extra special crappy about having to get that test done when you are actually *having* your period (not to mention that the office is 20 minutes away and my appointment was at 7am-blech!). Don't get me wrong...there have been several times when I have driven to the clinic for that test, knowing full well that I was not pregnant because I tested myself. But having your period at the same time-yeah, well that adds a whole new dimension of suckiness. And then the LPN, poor girl, said to me "Well, it's ok if you have your period...some women still have it and are pregnant". Yeah. Let's not deal in false hope. But I couldn't really be annoyed. This particular nurse is the only one who can regularly get blood from me on the first try. So I like her.

And so that brings me to my HCG level: .6. Pretty freaking low. Progesterone was .9. Guess that explains the period. Ah well-onward and upward, right?

Our next step was to book a follow-up appointment with the doctor who did our egg retrieval and transfer. Dan and I have tons of questions about the best course of action from here. Now booking that appointment was kind of a pain in the ass, because the protocol is that we had to email the doctor first with a list of questions and concerns. Then the doctor would respond and basically tell us to go ahead and book the appointment with the call center. Yeah. Annoying. Red tape. Not exactly stream-lined. But whatever. We have our appointment for April 11th...a date that I am happy with. It's the week we come back from Florida. And until then, I am going to do my best to not do any research (fertility related) or get overly angst-y about this past cycle.

We'll get there. Some way. Some how. Something will work. Knock on wood.

And lately is has struck me that I haven't posted any pictures of Alexandra in forever. Not because the focus of my blog has changed a bit with going through this latest round--but because I could not, for the life of me, find my camera charger! Pretty sure my kid walked off with it. She does that. Takes things (hey, she's two) and puts them in strange, odd, weird, funny places. Anyway-we finally found the charger in the dog's crate. See what I mean? So now I can go picture crazy again. I admit it, I like showing her off. I think she's pretty spectacular :)


  1. Hi Amanda, it's Elizabeth! Hopeful, cheerful, optimistic Elizabeth who just got her negative on Monday and spent the past week drowning in her own tears. Sorry your embryo didn't take, and sorry both of mine didn't take again either. Sucks...I'm at such a loss..

  2. Oh Elizabeth...I'm so sorry :( I have been thinking a lot about you and wondering how things were going. Do you have a plan for next time, or will you be taking a break? I'm so sorry. It just sucks. And it's so unfair....

  3. Thanks Amanda, we are at such a loss right now, we don't even know what questions to ask now on our April 3 appointment. I've been doing my research, but we can't really come to any conclusions on our own. Embryo quality was good ( AA) and my lining was pumped up with progesterone ( crinone 2xs/ day). So sad, our precious embryos, lost... We have one more frozen (try #3), but we are so hesitant to try again before we get some answers...

  4. I'm so sorry :( The whole process is just so confusing. My doctor likes to say that human reproduction is so wasteful. You can have everything *look* perfect and the cycle can still fail. Or you can have a horrible cycle and, for some reason, the magic happens and it takes. It's like all the stars have to align for things to work out. And it can be maddening because there's no explanation for a lot of it :/

    I am glad that you have a list of questions. Is the April 3rd appointment a consult? I felt the same way-didn't want to move ahead until I was given answers. I think it's a smart way to proceed.

    My doctor also likes to say that sometimes it just takes time...and just one "right" egg. But man-does the waiting ever suck!?!

    I really hope that your "time" is coming VERY soon...