Not "PC" But What the Hell....

So I stumbled across this song on the great big internets. It's tongue and cheek and just for fun, so don't get all mad at me and offended. I was pregnant once too. And probably kind of smug since I got pregnant on my first round of injections--and thought I was an infertility superstar. I think karma is biting me in the ass right now for my smugness. Anyway. Find this song on YouTube and play it when you're having a really angry, bitchy day. It will be cathartic.

But I do think they should change the name to "Pregnant Women are Smug...Unless You've Had a Baby Surgically Implanted...Then You're Just Scared That Shit Will Go Wrong". Too long, you think?

Pregnant Women are Smug--Garfunkel and Oates

Pregnant women are smug
Everyone knows it, nobody says it
Because they're pregnant
Effing son of a gun
You think you're so deep now, you give me the creeps
Now that you're pregnant

I can't count all the ways how
You speak in clichés now

Riki: So, do you want a boy or girl?
Kate: Oh, doesn't matter as long as it's healthy
Riki: Really? 'Cause I don't feel that those two things are related. It's not like one or the other.
Kate: Oh, really, as long as it's healthy.

I can't wait to hear someone say
"Don't care if it's brain dead
Don't care if it's limbless
If it has a penis"

Pregnant women are smug
Everyone knows it, nobody says it
Because they're pregnant
This zen world you're enjoying
Makes you really annoying

Riki: So, is it a boy or girl?
Kate: Oh, we know, but we're not telling.
Riki: What you're gonna name it?
Kate: Oh, we know, but we're not telling.
Riki: Who's the father?
Kate: Oh, we know, but we're not telling.

Bitch, I don't really care
I was being polite
Since you have no life now
That you're pregnant

You say you're walking on air
You think that you're glowing
But you've been ho'ing
And now you're pregnant

You're just giving birth now
You're not Mother Earth now

Riki: Oh my gosh, I've got so much going on. I got my novel published, I moved, I got married.
Kate: Gosh, you know, everything seems so trivial now that I'm pregnant.
Riki: Well, I also helped end gang violence in Mexico when...
Kate: You know, I can't even remember what I did before I was pregnant. Everything else seems so meaningless.

Pregnant women are smug
Everyone knows it, nobody says it
Because they're pregnant
Effing son of a gun
You think you're so deep now, you give me the creeps now
Now that you're pregnant