Stupid Statistics.

Ugh. Statistics are getting me down :( Yes. I am down at only cycle day 7 (and only day three of stimming). I just keep thinking about that 20% success (for IUI/injections) rate per cycle--and that's 20% on the *higher* end. I could be looking at 10-15% odds :( But lets not go there. We'll stay with 20%. You know what that means? That means that there is an 80% chance that this cycle will be a bust. That it will fail. Crap.

I know, I know. I shouldn't read so much into statistics; they don't tell the whole story, after all. There are an infinite amount of variables that go into whether a cycle is successful or not. But it's still daunting. I'm not usually a "glass half empty" kind of girl, but I'm not loving 20%. It's like....what the heck...after all the medications and stimming and monitoring and blood draws and ultrasounds (transvag., no less!) and 6:30am appointments....shouldn't the chance for failure be somewhat less than 80%??? I honestly do not know how people reconcile those odds when they are paying out of pocket for treatments. My heart goes out to them :(

So anyway. Tomorrow I go in for my first monitoring ultrasound. I'm not really expecting it to be exciting, as it's still so early in my cycle and I don't usually show much happening at this point. My guess is that they will raise my Gonal-F dosage by one or two units. I'm not feeling much happening "down" there, which is typical for me even when stimming...but I *think* that I have a bit more cervical mucus than usual (darn it, but I hate that phrase! Mucus...blech!).

Just found out today that one of my good friends (lives out of town now) is having a baby girl :) This friend also has PCOS and while she never admitted to any sort of treatments, I'm guessing that she had something. And I'll admit it. I'm jealous.  Happy and jealous. I think this one hit a chord with me because I absolutely love love love having a girl. I would LOVE to have another girl...even have a name tentatively picked out (still has to pass the husband test). So I actually think that hearing that it was a girl made it sting a little bit more, despite the fact that she absolutely deserves a healthy baby and they will be great parents.  Oh, and Fertility Gods--just for the record--we would be absolutely THRILLED with a healthy baby boy too. Just sayin' ;)